The result of it all is that I have come, rather reluctantly, to respect delusion, not least of all my own. There are no passions quite as hot and pleasurable as those of the deluded. Compared to the bliss of delusion, its vivid colours, blazing lights, explosions, whistles and liberating joys, the search for evidence is a deadly bore.
--
i've come to respect arthur miller a bit more
but
another piece of news-
i am in a great deal of pain right now
it's not because i bit my tongue so hard at lunch today that it bled
i hate cramps
it is like a hot blade being run through my inner flesh, tearing it apart, healing and sealing itself back up instantly, only to be sliced apart again.
i wonder if being kicked in the nuts hurts more.
perhaps that is more a sharp scream
whereas cramps is like a dull muted on-going roar that lasts the entire day.
i can only imagine what labour must feel like
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